Vedant Rao

It's been four days since I didn't go to college. I'm sitting in the same room, surrounded by four walls, without any connection to the outside world. This is just my way to find some peace, even though I don't get that, because I need someone with whom I can share my feelings and lean my head on their shoulder to cry, but I can't do anything. Koun iss ghar ki dekh bhaal kare, Roz ek cheej toot jaati hai. I sighed as I sipped on my black coffee; it's already 2 AM at night, and the sun will rise by 6 something.

I heard a sound from the balcony area. I ignored it, but it grew louder, so I went to check. “What the fuck?” I whispered loudly as I saw Ashvika trying to get in through the balcony. I helped her and looked around to see if anyone was watching.

“Haye raam, Dhanywaad! Baccha liya aaj,” [Oh god, thank you! I almost died today] she shouted dramatically, resting one hand on her waist and the other on her head.

I quickly dragged her inside the room and covered the balcony area with curtains.

“Aaj toh marte-marte bachi hu, kya bataun?” [I almost died today, what can I say?] she said, exaggerating her drama.

“Kyun aayi ho yahaan marne fir?” [Why did you come here to die again?] I asked, annoyed.

“Tumhe dekhne aayi thi,” [I came to see you] she said, sitting on the bed, half-lying down. She took out her phone and called Ishaan.

“Haan Ishaan bhai, aagyi mai iske ghar par. Thank you, ab aap jao. Vedant will drop me home.” [Yes, Ishaan, I've reached his place. Thanks, you can go now. Vedant will drop me home]

“Yeh kab decide hua?” [when was this decided?] I asked her as she ended the call.

“Are, mehmaan hu tumhari, itna toh kar hi sakte ho,” [Oh, I'm your guest; you can at least do this much] she said with a smile.

“Bin bulaye mehmaan ki seva nahi karta main,” [I don't serve uninvited guests] I replied, rolling my eyes.

“Bade badtameez kisam ke ladke ho,” [You're a very rude kind of boy] she said.

“Ashvika, yaha kyu aayi ho?” [Ashvika, why did you come here?] I asked calmly.

“Bataya toh, tumhe dekhne aayi thi. Kahi mar var toh nahi gaye?” [I told you, I came to see you. Didn't you almost die or something?] She grinned.

I shook my head. “Dekh liya? Ab jao.” [You've seen me? Now leave.]

“Nahi, abhi nahi,” [No, not yet] she said and sat properly, removing her shoes.

“Come here, I want to talk about something,” she said, patting the seat beside her. I sat.

“Gate lock hai na?” [Is the gate locked?]

“WHAT THE FUC—”

“Koi aa na jaye, mai pakdi jau gi isliye puch rahi hu, gadhe aadmi,” [No one should come, I'll get caught, that's why I'm asking, stupid man] she said, hitting me on the head.

“Ohh...” I felt awkward, and she shook her head, resting it on her knees as she looked at me. Okay, now I'm getting nervous for the first time.

“Kya hua hai tumhe?” [What's happened to you?] Her voice was barely audible.

“Kuch nahi, Ashvika” [Nothing, Ashvika] I replied without looking at her.

“Yehi baat apne dil par haath rakh ke kaho, khud se puchho, theek ho kya tum?” [Say this with your hand on your heart, ask yourself, are you really okay?] I gulped, hearing her words. If I did what she said, I'd break. I'd break for sure.

“Nahi kar pa rahe na? Kyunki tum jaante ho tum theek nahi ho” [Can't you do it? Because you know you're not okay]

“Kya hua hai? Batao?” [What's happened? Tell me?] she asked, and for the first time, I saw her so calm and composed, acting like a mature woman.

“Kayi baar alfaaz nahi hote apne dil ki takleefein bayaan karne ke liye. Dil chahata hai bas koi sambhal le, samajh le, samet ke.” [Sometimes there are no words to express the pain in our hearts. All we want is someone to hold us, understand us, and comfort us.] I said, looking directly into her eyes. Her eyes were searching for something in mine. But what?

“Main hoon yahaan hamesha. Tumhein sambhalne ke liye, tumhare an-kahe alfaaz samajhne ke liye, aur jab kabhi toot jaoge toh main samet lungi.” [I'm here for you, always. To hold you, to understand your unspoken words, and to pick up the pieces when you fall apart.] Her eyes held a promise, her eyes spoke the truth – she meant every single word she said.

“Jhooth keh rahi ho, aakhir main har koi chhodh kar chala jaata hai” [You're lying, eventually everyone leaves me]

“Agar yeh jhooth hai toh main nahi jaanti kya sach hai, aur main nahi jaane waali kahin bhi. Tum chale jaoge par main, main hamesha yahi rahungi” [If this is a lie, then I don't know what's true, and I'm not going anywhere. You may leave, but I'll always be here]

“Matt karo yeh sab, Ashvika,” [Stop all this, Ashvika] I said, standing up.

“Bikhar jaogi tum” [You'll fall apart]

“Mere bikhar jaane par tum samet lena” [You'll pick up the pieces when I fall apart] I heard her say, and I sighed.

“By the way, aaj yaha se kuch leke hi jaungi main” [By the way, I'll take something with me when I leave today]

“What?”

“Tumhari dosti. Dost banoge?” [Your friendship. Will you be friends with me?] she asked, lying on my bed and extending her hand while yawning. Such a kid.

I held her hand, pulled her up, and made her sit straight.

“Gadha!” [Idiot!] she said, annoyed.

“Chalo ghar chhodke aaun tumhe” [Let's go, I'll drop you home] I said, ignoring her friendship proposal.

“Dost nahi banoge?” [Won't you be friends with me?]

“Nahi” [No]

“Then I'll not go home,” she said, crossing her legs.

“Acha, theek hai meri maa, tum meri dost aur main tumhara abse, okay?” [Okay, fine, my mom, you're my friend and I'm yours okay?] She nodded with a smile, got down from the bed, wore her shoes, and walked towards the balcony.

“Oyee, kidhar?” [Hey, where are you going?] I said, grabbing her wrist.

“Ghar, jaise aayi thi vaise hi jaungi na” [Home, I'll go back the way I came]

“I do have a door in my house, we'll go from there, come.”

“Par kisi ne dekh liya toh—” [But what if someone saw us—]

“Mom and Dad are out of town, only my younger sister is present in her room.” She nodded.

We went downstairs and saw Nisha, who smiled at us and waved at Ashvika. Ashvika waved back at her instantly.

“Bhabhi manane aayi hai, hmm?” Nisha teased.

“Nishaa...” I said strictly.

She giggled and ran upstairs to her room.

“Your sister?” I nodded as we walked towards my car. I opened the door for her and closed it after she sat comfortably. I sat on my side and started driving towards her house as she gave me the address.

She sat silently in the car without saying anything. “We've arrived!” I informed her.

She jerked and looked out, smiling at me slightly. “Dhyan se jaana” [Take care]. She nodded but didn't get out of the car.

“Are you okay—” She cut me off mid-sentence by wrapping her arms around me.

“Zyada na sochna, jab bhi zaroorat pade, just text me, I'll be there for you. Let me know when you're comfortable to open yourself up like a book, so that I can read you. I'm not going to judge you, masla har waqt aayega, kabhi dil toot jaye toh uthakar unhi ke paas chale jana jisne ise banaya hai, kyunki unse behtar toh koi nahi janta na

[Don't overthink, whenever you need me, just text. Let me know when you're ready to open up, and I'll be there to listen without judgment. Problems will arise, and when your heart breaks, go back to the one who made it, because no one understands it better than them]. And now, remember that you have me, someone you can lean on and cry.”

My arms wrapped around her too. “Thank you,” I stuttered.

I felt her lips on my right cheek. My grip loosened, and she got nervous, moving back. Without looking at me, she tried to open the door and ran away to her house.

I leaned back and watched her retreating figure, exhaling sharply. “Ashvika, Ashvika, Ashvika...” What a trouble. Maybe a cute one. I chuckled and drove back to my house as she entered hers safely.

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